SHRI M.B. REGE’S RARE LETTER ON RADHAKRISHNA AYEE
28, South
Tukoganj,
Indore,
3rd
September 1968
Dear Brother
Sridhar,
Your letter
of the 30th ult. reached me yesterday afternoon. I have wired you
this morning, as this letter will not reach you on 4th inst., as
desired by you.
Now regarding
my Divine mother Radhakrishna Ayee. I shall relate some incidents which will
show her worth and what the master thought of her.
You are aware
that I went to Shirdi for the first time in December 1910 consequent on a
vision in which I saw my Kula Devi Shanta Durga of Kareta (Goa) with Shri Maha
Vishnu and my Master, and Shri Maha Vishnu said that the three were in fact
one, and that Shri Sai Baba would be my saviour. You may find some more details
in Sri Narasimha Swamiji’s “Life of Sai Baba, Vol.III” (Ankita Devotees).
In my first
visit, the master asked me to go to mother Radhakrishna whom He described as
His mother and mine. My association with her and I owe my spiritual life to her
– left no doubt in my mind that she was the Yoga Maya like the Yogini, who gave
Sri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa his training in ‘Tantra’ Mother Ramakrishna, whom
the master always referred to as Ramakrishni, was to me an ideal of the Madhura
Bhakti of the Gopis. All her belongings in the world were a durrie (cotton mat)
a blanket, a pair of dhotis, Eknath Maharaja’s Bhagwat, abhangas of Sri
Thukaram and a lota. She had an idol of Lord Krishna – she called it ‘Chahabi’
and occasional singing of Bhajans in which she would get unconscious in a deep
trance.
The devotee I
met at Shirdi had views of their own regarding Bhakti and each one or a group
thought that His or its own way was the right one; and very often there was
intolerance of other views. Mother Radhakrishna’s view was that the master
should, like the idols at Thirupati, Mathura or Dwaraka and Pandarpur, have
good clothes, ornaments, Palki Rath, etc. Other devotees of note like Sri
Dasganu Maharaj, Sri Dabolkar thought that Baba was a Fakir and ostentation was
against His creed. Indeed when once velvet chhava (overcoat) was being put on
Baba, one of such devotees, when Baba in his own way refused to have it put on,
said ‘Fix some nails to fix it’. The last scandal completely alienated such
persons and since the sketches of Baba were mostly written by them, a reference
to the mother in them, cannot be expected.
Sri Dasganu
was a great devotee; and we find in his ‘Kirtanas’, references to the love of
Gopies; but he probably thought that what was proper for Lord Sri Krishna was
not so for a fakir. Being confined to the residence and company of the mother,
I was a persona non-grata and was far from Dasganu Maharaj until after the
Master’s Mahasamadhi. He then came to Indore and stayed with me. Then with
tears in his eyes he said,’Baba saheb, you were very fortunate in living with a
devotee of the highest order in Madhura Bhakti. I do kirtans of Mirabai,
Janabai, Kanhopatra, and gopis, and tears flow from my eyes but I could not
appreciate the Madhura Bhakti of Radhakrishna Ayee in real life’, and referring
to mother’s sad end, he said there were instance in the Puranas of birth
without sexual relations.
In 1911, I
thought of practicing Yoga. I invoked my Master and wanted no other Guru.
Relying on the story of Ekalavya who got Shastra and Astra Vidya from a mud
image of Dronacharya, I began Asana and Pranayama, sitting before the picture
of my Master. I could control my breath and stop five or six beats of my heart
in about a year’s time. Once in 1912, talking of Yoga and control and functions
of the body, the mother told me that she had succeeded by Rajayoga in stopping
her monthly periods!
Mother
Radhakrishna was of ordinary build, about 5 feet high, but had an iron will and
the strength of a giant. She used to fetch water from a well about a furlong
away in large pots, which she picked alone with her hands, when a strong man
would need the help of another for the purpose. She once gave me a blow on my
chest and said, “You are a ‘samsari’. Is this hollow”, she then asserted that
she was much stronger than me. I replied that I was only a child. She then
suggested a trial of strength, and insisted on it in spite of me. The road
leading to Rahata used to be deserted in the afternoon and she said we should
run with the other on the back. I told her to get on my back and I would run
first. I ran about two furlongs and the mother said she was satisfied and I may
stop. She then made me get on her back and ran much more than two furlongs, and
asked whether she was not stronger, and when I said it was doubtless so, she
asked me to get off her back. I said I was happy on the back of my mother and
would not leave it. She threatened to throw me off and I replied that the world
would stare if a fond mother did so. Eventually I got a promise from her that
she would carry me on Her back on the spiritual path. It appears to me that
this was pre-ordained by the Master, as, when we return to mother’s residence,
I was called by Baba and asked what we were doing. When I told him about our race
and mother’s promise, the Master said ‘She will take you on her back and so
will I’. But then he directed me to give up the practice of Yoga. ‘Do Bhakti’,
He said, ‘nothing is more necessary. Only let your Heart, Head, and hand be in
tune’. (He pointed to the head, heart, and hand, said, ‘let these be one’)
Mother
Radhakrishna hated publicity. A gentleman from Mumbai took some snap shots of
her without her knowledge; but some one spoke of it as the gentleman was
leaving Shirdi in a tonga. She ran after the tonga for about a mile, wrested
the camera and smashed it. Tatya Koti Patil, an intimate devotee of Baba, told
me of this in her presence.
In December
1914, the late Sri P.R. Avasthi went with me to Shirdi. He had taken ‘Guru
Mantra’ from a woman saint in his young days and did not know whether she was
living or dead. Sri H.S. Dixit was his friend and wanted him to go for darshan
of Baba; but Sri Avasthi thought that it would be ‘Guru droha’ (faithlessness
towards his Guru). When he came to know
of my association with the Master, he spoke of his state of mind. He was then
the District Judge, Indore, and I was Civil Judge under him. I told him that
Baba was a Superb Guru – one with God – and he agreed to accompany me provided
I took on the responsibility. We went and Baba asked me who was this ‘Pissat’
(crazy man) with me. Sri Avasthi was excited.
Next day the mother tied four mogra flowers together and handing them to
me said, ‘Take this to the Master and ask Him to unravel it.’ Baba smelt the
flowers and returned them with a message for mother Radhakrishna that she
should do it. In the mean while Sri Avasthi had a brain wave. He made a small
ball (pindam) of rice out of the Naivedya offering unknown to us and decided
that if Baba accepted the Pindam, he would conclude that his Guru was no more
and taking Baba as Guru would not be Guru droha. I was with him when he went to
the Masjid with Naivedyam and the Pinda in his hand under the plate. Baba said
‘Give it to me’. He took the pindam, smelt it and said ‘It has reached its
place’. We returned to mother’s house and from the door, Sri Avasthi rushed to
her and fell at her feet singing spontaneous verses for about half an hour
unconscious of things around him. The mother was also in a trance. Later Sri Avasthi
told me that in place of mother Radhakrishna he had seen his first Guru.
In 1914, I
was doubtful about my ability to attend the Guru Poornima. The food was used to
be cooked in mother’s house, but she said that if I was not there, it had
better be cooked elsewhere. On the Guru Poornma day, she got an extra quota
from Baba’s ‘Bhiksha’. She then announced that I was coming and the cooking
started. I reached at about 9 a.m. They wanted a stone to pound the spices
(masala). The step leading to the house was considered good and mother and I
moved it with some difficulty. Just as it was in the door frame, a devotee Sri
Purandare came up and wanted to help. The stone turned and it might have
crushed my hand but the mother pulled it towards herself and the index finger
of her right hand was crushed into two. You can imagine her agony; but as if
nothing had happened, she soaked a rag in oil and wrapping the bleeding finger,
went on to help in cooking. Only after all was over, she called me and said she
was feeling the pain and would like to go to the jungle and cry. We went and
for half an hour she did cry. Then we came back for our normal work. What
control over the body and indifference to pleasure and pain in the service of
the Master!
I know
nothing about her condition which resulted in her death. In fact myself and my
wife – now no more – were with her for some days, two months prior to her end
and did not notice signs of her pregnancy. May be because we looked up to her
and not to her condition. Perhaps because I did not meet villagers or outsiders
– I heard no scandal too. The first intimation I heard was in a letter I got
from Narvekar intimating that mother had passed away in childbed.
In my last
letter I recollect having mentioned the incident of Baba coming from the Lendi
when, after washing the floor of the Masjid, the mother was in a trance, and
Baba stroked her on her back and asked her not to worry.
Two months
after mother passed away, I went to Shirdi and not knowing where I should stay,
went straight to the Masjid. Baba told me to go to Dixit Wada. Sri Madhavrao
Deshpande and many others came and offered a sort of condolence. ‘This should
not have happened in Shirdi’, they said. I replied that I did not desire to
discuss the matter. She was my mother and I said, even if she be in the wrong,
I would remain quiet comforted by Lord Sri Krishna’s view in the Bhagavad Gita
–
Api chet
Suduracharo Bhajate mam Anany Bhak
Sadhu reva sa
mantavyah samyag Vyavassito hi Sah. (Chapter 9-30).
(This means,
“Even the most wicked, if he concentrates on or worship Me the Lord, then he
must be deemed a sadhu or a good person”.)
While this
talk was going on, a message came from the Masjid asking all sitting with me in
the wada to come over. We went and Baba asked Sri Deshpande what they were
talking about. Baba further asked what I had said, and when the information was
given, the merciful Master said, ‘What do these fools know? She was your mother
and mine. She wanted to be freed from her karma and you know I gave her my
assurance. One night she came saying she would not wait and, lifting up my
kupni, got in here (pointing to His Heart). You will see her here when you
desire’. My Divine mother is now merged in the Master. Let people in their own
way imagine what they will. I cannot forget what I owe to Her.
I have tried
to give you my first hand impressions of her. Of the devotees, Sri Mahlsapathi,
Sri H.S. Dixit had great reverence for her, and I feel I am in good company. I
trust you will have a fair idea of the greatness of my mother. I leave it to
you to take out of my statement the parts you consider useful for your Ananda
Vikatan.
I have
written the above in installments. The cramps in my fingers make it difficult
to clearly decipher the writing, but I would rather send this than a typed
copy.
With kindest
regards and best wishes,
I am, Ever yours,
At the feet of the Master,
M.B. Rege.
(Courtesy:
Sai Sudha, Golden Jubilee Issue – June 1990, All India Sai Samaj (Regd),
Chennai-600004, India)